Oh, the drama!
Yes, these poor girls in the comics from this period couldn't live without a guy.
Tuesday, May 30, 2017
Monday, May 29, 2017
Halloween Party (Finale)
I've always received a lot of comments about this series, probably more than any other. I've been asked once and again if I would ever do another part, or if I would finish it before leaving the blog for good.
I decided to reward that by actually ending a story that I never intended to finish in the first place. But now that I've done, it's OVER. There's no future Halloween Party captions coming out. This is it, really.
I decided to reward that by actually ending a story that I never intended to finish in the first place. But now that I've done, it's OVER. There's no future Halloween Party captions coming out. This is it, really.
Sunday, May 28, 2017
Vintage Comics - Issue 7
Ok, this isn't a comic, but rather a vintage cover for one of those "titillating" romance novels. A completely different period than the comics, but you get why I did it.
I had a lot of fun tackling the stereotypes from this genre, even though it was the most difficult one I've done. This wasn't just changing the text like I've done in some of the others. This was build from scratch... the aged texture and everything. I hope you appreciate the result.
I had a lot of fun tackling the stereotypes from this genre, even though it was the most difficult one I've done. This wasn't just changing the text like I've done in some of the others. This was build from scratch... the aged texture and everything. I hope you appreciate the result.
Saturday, May 27, 2017
Roll of the Dice - Part 10
More Vintage Comics are still coming, but this one was long overdue.
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
Dawn descended from the sky like a bullet. She landed softly into Odette’s shoulder and yelled:
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9
Dawn descended from the sky like a bullet. She landed softly into Odette’s shoulder and yelled:
“It started! I saw it all from above. The
centaurs are charging towards the city gates! There’s loads of them! And
they’re all so big and beefy! Did skinny Millie really turn into THAT?!”
Odette’s elven ears also started picking up the
distant sound of the hooves galloping, even though it was happening miles away.
Then… clashes of metal… screams. The carnage had begun.
“It is time,” announced the Grand Mage. “Most
of the Wraiths have left Castle Ivory to meet the centaurs in battle. We’ll
have no better opportunity.”
“Yeah… Wait, did you say most of the Wraiths?”
“Of course. I doubt there’s not a few of them
still guarding the place. But don’t worry, I’ve got a plan. It involves you…”
Odette placed a finger over Dawn’s little
forehead and said a few words in ancient elvish.
“This will only last a few minutes. I can’t
hold it much longer. So you must be quick.”
Dawn immediately started growing like a weed.
Her purple glow was waning while it happened, and soon she was about the size
of a normal woman.
“Are you turning me into a human?” she asked,
and her voice wasn’t squeaky any more.
But then her insect-like wings started to
change into something that looked more like the wings of a bat or a demon. She
was also still growing, way past the size of a human. She looked in horror as
her skin started to cover itself with purple scale. A gigantic tail emerged
from her backside, and then it sprouted thorns. Her neck elongated and she grew
long tusks, while her face distorted into something reptilian.
She kept growing until she was roughly 100 feet
long. She could hear the nearby trees getting crushed by her expanding body.
Then it was over. She contorted her monstrous head around her new self.
“You turned me into a freaking dragon… I’m so
ugly!” she said, her voice a deep growl. Then she chuckled horrifically.
“Awesome.”
“Come on, you’ll change back really soon!” said
Odette, climbing over her friend’s back.
Flying as a dragon was much different than
flying as a fairy, but Dawn managed nevertheless. She batted her enormous
leathery wings and rose over the forest. She could see the city just ahead.
She was so large it only took her a couple of
seconds to get there. She could see the battle between the centaurs and the
dark creatures raging in the distant gates, but she descended over Castle
Ivory.
It was indeed flanked by a hundred Wraiths or
so, all floating and circling the tall tower. When they saw her, they shrieked
deafeningly and charged in her direction.
The cheerleader turned dragon knew what she had
to do. It felt like expectorating, but a thousand times more powerful. Her fire
was gold and amethyst and it poured copiously from her throat, burning all on
its wake. Dawn felt just a bit warm, and completely impervious to the flames
she was generating.
Dragon fire was too magical, and the Wraiths
had no chance against her. They all vanished as soon as they touched her fiery ejection.
“Oh… Odette… I think I’m shrinking!”
The temporary dragon was indeed getting
smaller, but she was so vast it took her a while to completely do so. By then, she had burned out all enemies.
She was soon no larger than a winged crocodile, and she couldn’t hold
the elf any more. Odette jumped from her back into the ground. Before landing,
she had already transformed back into her real self, her staff no longer
disguised as a bow: Where she was going, she wouldn’t need to hide her
identity.
Odette
turned around and almost laughed out loud. Dawn now looked like a small purple
iguana flying clumsily with its insectoid wings. However, as she watched, she
quickly regained her human-like appearance and regular tiny size. In just a few
seconds she was back to her pretty fairy self.
“What a
rush!” she squeaked. “That was so cool!”
“Well, I’m
glad you enjoyed it while it lasted, because I won’t be able to do it again.”
“You
should have saved it for when we get inside and face Karina. I would have…”
“What?”,
wondered Odette. “Squashed her, burnt her? She’s your sister, remember. We’re
not actually trying to kill her. We just need to get the upper hand over her.”
“You’re
right. So… how are we getting through that door?”
Odette
turned around. She could feel the strong magic protecting the huge entrance to
the castle. The Grand Mage raised her staff and its red gem glowed as she pressed
it against the oaken door.
She
pronounced a spell. Nothing happened.
“Come on,
you can do it!” cheered Dawn. She felt quite vulnerable being a fairy again
after being a powerful dragon.
Odette
casted another spell, and then another. Nothing was working. Then, on the sixth
attempt, the door swung open.
“Yay, I
knew you could!” applauded Dawn.
“That…
that wasn’t me. I couldn’t breach it from the outside. Someone on the inside
must have…”
A
beautiful young woman emerged behind the door and beckoned them in, leaving it ajar. Her blonde long mane was braided over her back and she was
wearing the low cut black robes of the castle’s servants. On her collar, there
was a necklace with a winged shape: a harpy, the sigil of the Dark Sorceress.
Odette
examined the woman’s face. She appeared to be human, but the Mage could detect
she wasn’t.
“You’re a…
a mermaid,” she said.
“Yes,
you’re right,” she said. “Karina cursed my tail into this form. And you are...
the Grand Mage of the elves. You’re Odette!”
“I am.”
“Odette,
it’s me! It’s Mia! I got transformed into this when I entered the game!”
“Mia? Wow,
you look fantastic. I would have never recognized you!”
The
mermaid was surprised, because it wasn’t Odette who answered, but instead the
tiny fairy on her shoulder.
“Sorry,
who…?”
“It’s me,
Dawn!”
“Dawn? Oh,
yes, I can still see a bit of you in your face! You’re soooo cute. And so
tiny!”
Odette
intervened.
“Girls, we
must get moving. But… I don’t understand. You opened the door, didn’t you, Mia?
How…?”
“Because I
became the Dark Sorceress’ servant,” she explained.
“But…
why?” asked a shocked Dawn. Was their friend about to betray them?
“Because
she promised me my mother’s throne. She’s the Sea Empress in this world. She
promised me I could stay here, beautiful and important forever.”
“And that’s
what you’ve always wanted…” said Odette, feeling defeated.
“Yes. But
no. Karina failed to understand me. She mentioned my fake mother, not realizing
she only made me think of my true
one. And as much as I love who I am in this world, I can’t stand the thought of
never seeing my real Mom again, or the rest of my family.”
“So…”
“So, I
pledged my allegiance to the Dark Sorceress, waiting for the right moment to
overthrow her and end the game. I immediately contacted the resistance and they
told me you were going to try and enter today, but that you needed help from
the inside.”
“Wow.
Thanks, Mia,” said Dawn, ashamed at having thought she was a traitor.
“You can
thank me later, Squirt. Now let’s go to the Throne Room and kick Karina’s
butt.”
Wednesday, May 24, 2017
Vintage Comics - Issue 6
Miss those melodramatic crying girls from old comic books? Here's another one!
By the way, the Vintage Comics have their own label.
By the way, the Vintage Comics have their own label.
Tuesday, May 23, 2017
Vintage Comics - Issue 4
I really like this one, though maybe it's just because the edit took a lot of effort. You're welcome to dislike it, though.
Vintage Comics - Issue 3
Don't think I've forgotten about Roll of the Dice. The next part is actually finished, but the one after that isn't, so I'm making some time by posting these, even if they don't seem to be very popular.
Monday, May 22, 2017
Sunday, May 21, 2017
Vintage Comics - Issue 1
Are you familiar with this very old AP/AR comic book?
Well, you shouldn't be, since I just made it up.
This is a new type of caption that occured to me today. Tell me what you think and I'll do a few more.
As you can see, they're based on the style of vintage comics, so expect a lot of crying girls!
Well, you shouldn't be, since I just made it up.
This is a new type of caption that occured to me today. Tell me what you think and I'll do a few more.
As you can see, they're based on the style of vintage comics, so expect a lot of crying girls!
Saturday, May 20, 2017
Roll of the Dice - Part 9
Part 4
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
The snake’s enormous fangs almost closed around
her, but Dawn shot a potent spray of purple, glowing dust directly into its
face. The reptile sneezed and twirled, and immediately slithered back to where
it had come from.
The fairy sighed. She had learned to fend off
predators quite well, but it was exhausting. To make things worse, her pointy
and sensitive ears could hear steps behind her. She turned to see an elf ranger.
Dawn immediately sprung back into action, ready to dust the stranger’s eyes. The
elf was startled and with an impressively agile motion, she aimed at the tiny
woman with her bow.
“Dawn, it’s me!” she said.
“Oh, Odette! I had forgotten how you looked
like.”
Both the fairy and the elf relaxed and laughed
nervously.
“So, what did you find out?” asked Dawn.
She had been waiting for three days in the
forest while Odette infiltrated the city disguised as a lowly ranger in order
to investigate.
“Well, I revealed my true identity to a couple
of loyal elves I knew from my travels,” explained the Grand Mage. “They
introduced me to the capital’s resistance cell.”
“And?”
“Well, things are trickier than we anticipated.
Karina has grown more powerful here than what we’ve seen in other lands. Castle
Ivory is protected strongly. The magic on its doors is too great. I doubt even
I could break it from the outside.”
“So what will we do?” asked Dawn desperately.
“We’ll try to enter anyway. Remember, that’s
the only way to end the game. There’s something in there that we have to do,
but I still don’t know what.”
“But you said…”
“Yeah, I know. The odds are against us, and
there’s yet another thing: her dark army guards the Castle.”
Dawn glowed even more intensely, as happened
when she was furious.
“But… here’s some good news for us, finally,”
said Odette with a smirk. “The resistance knows something that will allow us to
try and break into the castle while the whole army is away at the gates of the
city: an attack by the centaurs is imminent. Captain Millie of the Guard will
arrive shortly, bringing thousands of her soldiers.”
“Millie? Do you think she’s our Millie?” asked Dawn excitedly.
“She must be, because “Millie” doesn’t exactly
sound like a centaur’s name, does it? They say she’s brave and strong, and that
she’ll give the Wraiths a good battle. And whenever that happens, we must be
ready to get in.”
__________________________________________________________
Millie’s army was epic. That wasn’t only in
numbers, but also in the strength of each centaur warrior.
As she oversaw the preparations for the
surprise attack on the capital, Millie felt proud of her people. War had become
a part of her ever since she had transformed into a centauress… as had loss.
Just four months after leaving the Eastern
Kingdom in her attempt to reach the capital, the Wraiths had ambushed them.
Millie managed to defeat them, but her Stallion had been killed in battle.
She was aware that he wasn’t real, just a character that probably
would respawn if the game was ever played again. Still, that didn’t make his
demise feel any less tangible for her. Millie didn’t dwell on her grief for too
long. Death was a natural part of being a centaur… but so was revenge.
Her pain only strengthened her, and she emerged
from this experience as thrice the warlord she had been. She made an oath to
defeat the Dark Sorceress and she had managed to make most of the centaurs in
the Kingdom to pledge their allegiance to her cause. After all, it was their
duty to protect the lands against dark threats, and Karina’s was the greatest
evil in ages.
Friday, May 19, 2017
Roll of the Dice - Part 8
I fleshed out the conclussion more than I thought I would, so this isn't the finale quite yet.
I hope it doesn't overstay its welcome.
I hope it doesn't overstay its welcome.
Part 5
Part 6
Part 7
The capital welcomed every race with open arms,
or at least so was said. The reality was a bit different.
It was true that the beautiful elves of any
land were hailed respectfully at the city, and the same could be said about
most humans, though the Barbaric tribes were often frowned upon. Centaurs were
respected because of their wisdom and strength, but they were too proud to live
among others, so they rarely ventured to the capital and preferred to keep to
themselves on the Eastern Kingdom. Mermaids were also too distrusting of others
to be interested on Castle Ivory, and since there was only one important lake
in the city, they didn’t have much business there. Nobody cared either way
about having fairies around; unless you were a Dust smuggler and wanted to
kidnap them. They weren’t very useful, but since they were pretty, people
enjoyed their shiny presences. And of course, no giant had ever set a foot on
the capital.
Even if the city was never as diverse as it was
intended, at least it had been tolerant enough, but now not even that could be
said. Things had changed radically ever since the Dark Sorceress took over.
Almost two years had passed since the players
had been absorbed into the game’s universe, and Karina had already spread her
reign of terror through most of the land. Castle Ivory was now her fortress,
and it wasn’t either white or benign any more.
The citizens were mostly unharmed unless they
directly opposed her regime: any resistance was instantly crushed by the
Sorceress herself or by one of the many Wraiths and other dark beings who had
joined her after she seized power.
Of course, being the Grand Mage herself, Odette
was at the head of that movement. Barely a month ago she had finally reached
the capital, after helping organize the defenses of the many victims she found during
her travels.
She now lived in the woods around the city,
waiting for the right moment to strike. And she wasn’t alone. After defeating a
couple of robbers, she had found they had caught a little, defenseless fairy,
probably looking for someone who would buy her dust. Odette had released her
and had been quite surprised (an a little amused) when she discovered that the
tiny woman was Dawn, her formerly tall friend.
Since then, Dawn had become Odette’s companion.
She was now sitting at her shoulder, as they overlooked the devastated capital
from the branches of a tall tree. The pretty fairy seemed downcast.
“Are you sure it’s really Karina?” she asked in
her annoyingly squeaky voice.
“Yes, I’m afraid the Dark Sorceress is really
your little sister,” said Odette with sadness. “I’m sorry, but it’s true. I saw
it in one of my visions.”
“But how could she do this? She was a bit
spoiled, but she could never… I mean, this is pure evil! She can’t be a wicked
witch!”
“She is one in here,” shrugged Odette. “This is
a role game after all. A very literal role game. Maybe she’s just in character,
as we all are.”
“But she’s doing bad things to people!”
“She is, Dawn, but maybe this is just a game to her. We’ve been in her
place before. Have you never played as an orc or a necromancer in other games?
And you did dastardly things as those characters, because it was just playing.”
“But that was different. Those games were
pretend. This is real. And she’s killed real people!”
Odette reflected on that.
“I don’t know. We are not sure how “real” this
is. I don’t think anyone else is actually real here. They’re just characters. I
think only the seven of us can be considered authentic people.”
“I hope you’re right.”
“I hope that too, because I’ve killed too, if
always in self-defense.”
Odette threw herself from the tree to the
ground and, as always, she landed on her feet. Dawn glided gracefully alongside
her.
“What’s our plan now that we’re here?” she
asked. Odette thought it out.
“I need to get closer, I need to understand the
Castle’s defenses if we’re to breach them.”
“But… you can’t! It’s too dangerous! They’ll
recognize you and they’ll kill you! You’re the Grand Mage!”
“Luckily I am, because that means I can do
this…”
Odette clapped her staff against the ground and
she immediately started to change. It was over in a few seconds. She still was
a blonde elf, but her face was much different, her body curvier and her clothes
less elegant. Her staff was now also disguised as a bow.
“Oh, yeah, I forgot you could do that…”
“This form has been really useful, yes,” she said,
looking down and admiring the realistic illusion she had projected around
herself.
“How come you can do that and I was just turned
into a shiny insect?”
Odette shrugged before turning around to face
the city.
“Lucky dice, I guess.”
__________________________________________________________
Mia waved her long honey-colored hair and
smiled at the three fish swimming inside the glass water tank.
“Very soon, my friends, you shall be free,” she
said cheerfully.
It was so strange having legs again and walking
around, not to mention being in the open air instead of underwater, but she
could bear it.
Suddenly, her chambers darkened and her smile
vanished. That could only mean one thing. She turned to face the presence
behind her.
Dark Sorceress Karina was stretched there,
looking malevolent as usual.
“Still talking to them? I’ve told you, they
can’t hear you.”
Mia nodded.
“I know, my lady.”
After her long journey, the mermaid princess
had finally arrived to the capital two months ago. She had emerged in the
middle of Castle Ivory’s lake and was immediately captured by Wraiths and
conducted before Karina.
The Dark Sorceress had turned Mia’s three
guards into fish and locked them into a tank. The princess had fared better:
she was given human legs.
“You’ll live and be my servant,” she had
declared, and then had proceeded to reveal her true identity.
Mia couldn’t believe that Dawn’s annoying
sister was now this monster.
“Why don’t you destroy me?” the mermaid had
asked. “I’ve heard all you’ve done. You’ve killed hundreds.”
“Oh, but you are different. All those people
weren’t real. Just mere illusions conjured by the game, just like your fish
guards. But you’re a player. I don’t wish you any harm, just to give you my
gift. And of all the players, I think you’ll take what I have to offer with the
most delight.”
“And what is it that you’re offering?”
“Staying in the game forever. That’s what you
want, I do know it. And why wouldn’t you? You were a nerd, a nobody, in the
outside world. In here you look like a model… you’re a real princess!”
Mia looked down.
“I can’t deny this is like a dream,” she
admitted. “But it’s not our real life. We need the game to eventually end.”
“But why?!” Karina asked in fury. “Look at us
here! I’m all powerful! Who cares about real life when we have EVERYTHING
here?”
“I thought you mocked us when we played role
games. You said it was silly to pretend being someone else. That’s why you called
me a nerd, isn’t it?”
“But that was before! Now I’ve come to
understand the appeal. This world is at my feet. I can make you, a
princess, into my servant.”
“But... you’ve got plenty of servants already.”
“Wraiths and abominations, yes. All of them
characters within the game. I need someone real to acknowledge my superiority.
I want to collect all of you, especially my sister and the Grand Mage. And once
you all bow before me, you’ll be free to do as you want in MY world.”
Mia didn’t answer.
“Think about it,” pressed Karina. “Once I win
this war, we’ll remove that fake mother of yours from her Pearly Throne and
I’ll make you Empress of all Seas.”
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